“Positive Mindset” is for idiots… and could be standing in the way of demystifying good luck!

“Positive Mindset” is for idiots… and could be standing in the way of demystifying good luck!

One of the key differences of our approach is that we step away from what we term a "moralist approach", that simply tells you "how to be a good girl" -- and focus to a great degree on that how we feel -- our mindset (or rather, what we term, a Unit of Perception) -- determines the choices that we end up spontaneously making, and therefore our outcomes.

This concept is frequently misunderstood. You may say:

So, that must mean: “If I can keep a positive mindset no matter what happens, then regardless of what is going on, I will not perceive it as bad luck! And then I will make better choices! This means I can be happy in any circumstances! It’s a wonderful idea!" It’s all about thinking positive… right?

Think about it: in life, you’re inevitably going to encounter situations where you get taken advantage of and treated like crap, go through extreme hardships like loss and grief, or even face signs of dangerous situations. And through it all, you’re supposed to feel… wonderful? Or at the very least, nothing? Absolutely not! It wouldn’t be possible – and even if it were, it wouldn’t be healthy nor beneficial for you in the least.

When we say, “You can control how you feel,” that does not cover the situations when you SHOULD feel the way you feel. Having control over how you feel does NOT mean losing touch with reality – it means freedom from feeling a way which does NOT fit reality.

Emotions are given to us for a reason. They are important signals that help our body function. It's very likely that there is an actual threat and the body is trying to prevent us from doing something that may be destructive. Totally disregarding the signals that we receive from emotions would not be a good idea for that specific reason – because they are signaling something. What we need to do is learn how to interpret those signals correctly.

This is where emotional intelligence comes in. Emotional intelligence is the ability to interpret what it is that your emotions are telling you and take it from there. Controlling how you feel means knowing if how you are reacting in a particular situation is the right way to react and not something you're going to regret later.

Our emotions are designed to be the signals (alarms, notifications and messages) that connect us with our environment and help up understand what is going on in the world around us on an deeper, more accurate intuitive level, which goes way beyond logic and intellect. However, just like any system in our body, this one can also go our of balance -- especially, if we are not taught to use it from our childhood up.

This is how Emotional Intelligence can "misfire":
Think of those types of situations when you get triggered by something – you feel like people around you are treating you a certain way on purpose, or somebody says something very insulting, or you're getting very frustrated because you look at a huge task in front of you and think there’s nothing you can do to conquer it.

And then you look back at a few days later and it wasn’t quite the case, right? They weren’t trying to get to you on purpose. That person didn’t mean to be insulting. It’s just the way you felt in the moment. (Often, by then you’ve already done something you’re not proud of or made choices you don’t necessarily like.)

Or, on the flipside, you find yourself wanting to approach someone – be it for business or romantic purposes, it doesn't matter. In this situation, you would love to feel like you are sending out good vibes: open, confident, personable. You want to strike up a conversation, but you feel like you just can't.

Just like in the first example, a couple of days later you look back with regret at how you acted in that moment because of how you were feeling.

Imagine if you wouldn't have those “I can't” feelings. Imagine knowing you’ve got it, no matter what dynamic a situation calls for. That’s what we're talking about here. This is something you cannot fake, simply by telling yourself that you'll have a "forgiving mindset" or a "self-assured mindset". This is about being, NOT acting like.

This is how we beat bad luck
If you can control how you feel, then you can control how much you get triggered, or if you get triggered at all. That means you can always make our decisions with a clear mind. Then you don’t run into those situations where you second-guess yourself and everyone around you – those situations you later end up regretting. When your thinking is clouded, you can't really make good decisions. If you can think about everything that's on your plate with a clear mind, then you have depth of insight. And if you have depth of insight, that cuts making wrong decisions to a minimum.

(Not to mention that if you do not get easily triggered, other people have a lot less control over you, if any)

Not to mention that how we feel determines our drive and motivation. Do you want to be that person that you imagine yourself being in a particular situation? We're talking about a person who's got charm, who's got drive – you know how you look at someone speaking or presenting and just think to yourself, “Wow, they’re a natural.” Ask yourself: why aren’t you being that person? Your drive and motivation come from how you feel, and you can see how far drive and motivation can take you.

So, by being in control of how you feel, not only do you gain the depth of insight to save yourself from bad decisions (and the regret that usually comes with these later on), but you also become someone who naturally exudes the right energy in any situation – you untangle that whole vicious circle of chaos and confusion, and it all goes in your favor.

And when you feel in control and like the person you truly want to be, you approach things differently. Because you make choices differently, you get treated differently. When you don’t feel intimidated, suspicious, or backed into a corner, you also give off the impression of somebody who is trustworthy – someone others want to get to know and be around. You don't just feel better – you literally get treated differently as a reward. This then sets off a chain reaction: you get treated differently, so you make more insightful decisions. Then you get treated even better, because now you’ve really got everything that you can bring to the situation.

Let’s go through our checklist: you feel differently, you get treated differently, and you have clarity and control over your outcomes because you are free to make choices without confusion and fear of misreading situations. Basically – you’ve overcome bad luck, right?

And all that without turning off our emotions or arbitrarily switching to – you guessed it – a “positive mindset.”

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