If you catch yourself feeling like you don't matter, you may be a victim of the DO NOT LIVE negative program
Nobody cares. Is this a familiar feeling to you?
Do you often find yourself feeling like you’re totally replaceable, expendable, and do not matter – like you could disappear tomorrow and nobody would care… or even notice?
Or maybe even that the world around you would breathe a sigh of relief if you were gone?
Does the following sound like the mantra that you hear from your mind a lot:
You feel you have a good reason to believe that nobody really cares what you think or how you feel. You mind treats other people's agendas and desires as priority by an unshakable default. You consider yourself shy, humble or a loner, but deep down inside you feel that you simply do not have the right to call any attention to your own needs or wants -- there is something subconsciously wrong with doing so.
Maybe you feel like the office wallflower – the weakest link. For instance, in a meeting where your boss asks for everyone’s thoughts on an upcoming project and your teammates eagerly pitch in their suggestions, you just sit there, stuck in your own head: “Nobody cares whether I contribute to the conversation or not, right? Besides, it’s pointless – my ideas probably suck.” (No wonder you never get promoted)
Or are you afraid to speak your mind because deep down you’re convinced that whatever you say will simply be ignored, brushed off, or worse (at least in your mind), politely tolerated?
Like when you hang out with friends, you may catch yourself staying quiet because, in the rare instances that you DO speak up, you end up feeling like everyone’s just trying to be nice -- they are not really interested. You always end up second-guessing yourself: “Why bother? It’s not like it really matters what I think – and rightly so, anyway.”
If any of these sound familiar, I strongly encourage you to watch the video below, where we get to the bottom of what’s behind these feelings. Or you could also continue reading on – the content is the same!
In this video we are going to discuss a unit of perception: a term used in psychology to describe a certain state of mind -- and as such, playing a huge part in how you see things and what choices you end up making.
We are also going to talk about how negative programming -- toxic units of perception that have gotten put in your mind through childhood traumatic experiences and are now affecting your adult perception, choices and thus outcomes today.
And we will discuss the example of one of these negative programs (aka "viruses of the mind" - by comparison to destructive software downloads): the negative program of DO NOT LIVE: how it gets "downloaded" and how it may be affecting your mindset.
Let’s talk about the Unit of Perception known under the term “DO NOT LIVE”.
But before that, for those of you who are not familiar with the term “Unit of Perception”, let me explain briefly what the term means.
We all are familiar with the term “mindset”. For example – let’s use a classic here, that we all have heard, I’m sure: If you have an “I can” mindset, then you can accomplish anything you want (or at least this is the popular belief). But if you think that you cannot do something, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you really can’t accomplish anything, because you probably won’t even start, right?
If you guys have been around Triumph Over Gray for a while, you may already know how we feel about the “I can mindset” here. To hopefully give you an idea of what I’m talking about, below is an excerpt from the children’s book The Little Blue Engine, Shel Silverstein’s take on the classic Little Engine That Could:
See where we’re going with this?
I know this is very different from popular mainstream advice out there that encourages one to simply “think positively”. This is because we use the holistic approach of bioenergetics, which digs a lot deeper into the roots of why you do NOT feel so positive in the first place.
The problem with the mindset theory is not that the power of a mindset is not there. Yes, it’s real, and you should never underestimate the power of your mindset. The problem is that this power of thought only goes so far.
Here is an example:
Can you lose weight without putting your mind to it and being determined to succeed? Probably not. You will definitely need the power of your mindset here. But can you lose weight simply by telling yourself that being slim is the ultimate shape for your body? No. The power of your mindset simply is not enough in this endeavor. There are other ingredients that go into the recipe for success in this case – and in most cases, for that matter.
And this brings us to the concept of a Unit of Perception: A Unit of Perception is kind of the full recipe of how you feel and why, with all the ingredients – including (besides a mindset) how you feel about life in general, what you believe, how you perceive yourself and others, and so on.
Here is an example of two Units of Perception. Let’s say, two girls want to date this cute, awesome guy. One of these girls wears high heels, the other wears sneakers. One’s a cheer captain, the other is on the bleachers. Remember this Taylor Swift song? They both have the same mindset: they want that relationship. But their Units of Perception are way different.
Let me give you a definition here: a Unit of Perception is your state of mind. It's a state of mind that determines your choices and your picture of the world around you. And this state of mind is formed by many things: how you’ve been raised, how you’ve been treated, your life experiences, your self-limiting beliefs, your mental blockages, your fixed ideas… a lot of things.
It is also formed by this: how you have been conditioned. Conditioned, yes. We can get conditioned by our relationships, we can – and do – get conditioned by how we grow up, by our childhood, by how we are being treated by our parents.
So, this brings us to this Unit of Perception I mentioned at the beginning, which is formed in early childhood: DO NOT LIVE.
It is a negative program that gets put into our subconscious mind, as I said, in early childhood – and for this reason, most of us are not aware of the fact that it is even there. This program runs in the background of our mind and determines how we think and react – while we have no idea why we think and react a certain way.
This negative program gets “downloaded” before we are even able to remember ourselves, and certainly before our intellectual, conscious brain develops. It is when you’re trying to take in reality and the world around you as a baby that you take in the program as well.
This happens when you, as a child, do not feel welcome in this world. As in it would be better if you’re not here. Hence the message of “do not live”. Meaning, you do not have the right to live – there is no benefit for you being here, it’s not a benefit but a burden, and so on.
Usually, when people hear “not welcome in this world” or “do not have the right to live” and other similar wording, they immediately think of child abuse. But it all doesn't have to be this extreme.
Imagine a mother who is totally overwhelmed: maybe she has other little children in the house, or maybe it’s her first child and she is not exactly sure how to handle things and she hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep for many days in a row. She is tired, she feels frustrated – maybe unsupported or even put down by her spouse. Maybe she feels trapped, depressed, lost… and here is this child, waking up in the middle of the night again. “Would you just shut up and go away!” Right?
This is how this program gets passed along. I mean, we can all feel it when we walk into a room and people do not want us there, right? Right? We can feel the vibes, so to speak. So can a baby – don’t fool yourselves.
Now, don’t get me wrong: once, twice, even several times when this happens, no evil is going to occur, and no negative program is going to form. When moments of frustration and rejection are compensated by hours of love and care, guess which program would win? Instead, I am talking about a long, persistent pattern here. I am talking about when it's your fifth kid and you're so busy that you can barely sit down and don’t have any time for yourself, let alone the baby. Or when you have to take medication for post-partum – and have no energy to give any love to that baby – the baby is simply there.
It's a separate conversation as to what needs to be done if you’re in a situation like this, yes. But right now we’re talking about those of us who end up on the receiving end – those who end up with the “do not live” negative program installed in their mind.
So, let me ask you again: Do you feel that you’re worthless and there is no benefit to the world from the fact that you’re part of it? Do you feel that there is no purpose for your existence that you can think of? Do you feel that everything you do is kind of pointless and most likely will not be needed or appreciated?
Yes? But do you now see how all these feelings boil down to one simple thing: you feel that you’re not needed in this world and do not have its permission to enter and live in it. You’re an imposter – do not live.
Do you see it?
I hope you do. And if you see it and have been following what I've explained, you will know and remember that this is not the truth. This is a negative program that has been put in you before you could think for yourself. This is not the truth. This is what we call a virus of the mind. Resist it. Do not believe it. You have been created for some great, wonderful person, and you're welcome to enter this world and fulfill it! Don't be afraid to say: I deserve to live, I deserve to be here. I DO matter.
This world needs you. You have been put here for a reason and this reason is awesome – you just need to discover it! Never forget this!
And we’ve only just begun to scratch the surface here with this discussion of Units of Perception.
Units of Perception is just one of the concepts of bioenergetics, the powerful approach at the heart of Triumph Over Gray. Bioenergetics is a new and emerging branch of psychology that has been proven to transform people’s lives. Whether by helping overcome stress, anxiety, failure, and other common roadblocks, or unlocking new heights of financial, personal, and even relationship success, bioenergetics changes lives – all through understanding yourself and accessing your natural in-born potential.
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