Holistic vs. Mainstream: it works in physical health – and it works in emotional health
Despite the abundant advice on stress management, the problem remains (by and large) unresolved.
In fact, feeling overwhelmed, tired, ridden with anxiety and panic attacks, struggling with depression and so on has become the new normal -- long before "new normal" was even a term.
When people learn that I am a grandmother of 6 grandchildren, which come for dinner almost every day and go through the house like a hurricane ("terrible twos". you know!😂😆) -- who also has a full time PLUS (self-employed - !) job, and helps five married children with their emotional, financial and other life-related challenges with HANDS ON (!) participation, AND has just gone through a MAJOR relationship-related stress less than a year ago... everybody excepts me to be on at least 2 anxiety medications, or at least complain about having to juggle too many balls and never having enough time -- or to AT LEAST be feeling a bit un-appreciated and taken advantage of.
That would be NORMAL, right? If I am saying that I take no medications whatsoever and have it all under control, I've go to by lying, right? RIGHT? This is impossible, RIGHT? Do you see how the condition of being ridden with stress and anxiety, of jumping at every little stimulus and of constantly feeling (or, in many cases, BEING) unsatisfied, misunderstood and mistreated has become SO COMMON that it has become NORMAL?
However, there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between "common" and "normal".
It's just that so often we are discouraged from thinking independently...
We all have gotten to experience recently how many things, which would have sounded unfathomable and far fetched just a few years ago, have become so common today -- however, these things are in no way NORMAL. They weren't 5 years ago. They are NOT today, either -- contrary to popular belief.
The "just" and the significance of what I have just said is this: when it comes to stress, the mainstream advice may be common, but it does not make it right.
We are stressed NOT because there is something wrong with US. We are stressed, jumpy, confused and overwhelmed because the world around us has changed... and we were too busy accomplishing other things, so we did not pay attention and did not adjust properly.
- We do not FEEL confused -- we ARE confused with what is going on, with what are the right choices to make, with how to handle people who have emerged from this new environment. (And mainstream stress management offers no explanation -- because it is focused on telling US what to do -- and how to feel)
- We are NOT jumpy or anxious -- we have powerful stimuli thrown at us, which we have not learned to EXPECT
- We are NOT getting depressed -- our minds are simply telling us that something is wrong and needs to change. And we just have not discovered what to do in order to change things
- The emotions of feeling down, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you can never get anything done are not "genetic", "normal" or unavoidable. As we age, we accumulate unresolved mental baggage, unhealed trauma, un-answered questions (which we have put on the back burner to thinking through later and never got to). We also accumulate what I term "mental viruses": small bits of information or perception, which do not come from us (=what and who we are), or from our actual life experiences, but which we have caught unawares as we went through life. These are very catchy, very sticky bits of metal programming that plant themselves in our minds and influence everything we think or feel -- often, changing the entire picture of our perception... and we are left wondering what's wrong, without being able to pinpoint anything specific.
- We are not FEELING unheard, lonely, or used. We ARE, in fact, being taken advantage of, ignored or dismissed. When we were growing up, the world was different: people had strong ethics, passed as legacies from generation to generation, and there were boundaries that people simply did not cross. Now, the world has changed. But no one has taught us how to position ourselves in this new world: what "strong stimuli" to be prepared for, what boundaries to set and how, HOW to position ourselves properly among these new generations which play by new and different rules. (I am a strong believer into a warrior mindset vs victim mentality: we cannot blame "them" for not treating us right. If we POSITION ourselves properly, we will be treated properly -- while remaining totally who we are, by the way. This is a word of experience. ONE SERIOUS CHUNK of experience.)
With all this, we do not have an older generation which can pass down this knowledge to us, give us the right warnings what to prepare for and what to expect. Because we ARE that generation, which is now faced with an unexpected change in the world. And I submit, that unless we accept the challenge, figure things out, untangle the mess -- AND pass this knowledge on, the following generations are in a heap of trouble! (But it's a good thing we have caught on early enough)
But then again -- maybe we do. Did you notice how I have just shared with you the holistic principals that we are familiar with from the "health" side:
- Treat the cause, not the symptom: get down to what is going on, instead of putting a temporal banc-aid on the symptoms. (Do not simply take Tylenol for headaches -- see what is causing them. Do not simply reach for an anti-depressant -- see what is causing you to feel the way you do)
- Reach balance (between work, responsibilities, obligations and demands)
- Find the right lifestyle (How you position yourself matters)
- It's not you -- it's the environment and the position you were put in (which you have the power to change)
- Understanding of what is going on matters
... and so on.
Its time to fight back.
It's time to stop chasing band-aids (i.e. tips and tricks, and other forms of "psychological medication" which help make a good show without addressing the core). It's time to stop believing the mainstream story that we all are "victims", that what is going on is "normal", and that there is nothing that can be done about it. It's time to take control -- and pass the knowledge on to our children and grandchildren.
So - I have created this program.
I want it to accomplish three things:
1. Share my knowledge and experience (To add to the school of hard knocks, I also hold a Master's degree in Acmeology -- which is a branch of Analytical/Cognitive Psychology (also know as Psychology of Self)
2. We all need more human interaction. More than ever these days. I feel it is part of fighting back at the way this world is going. Plus, this is a very important aspect in achieving balance -- what, in turn, is a very important step in gaining control over stress.
3. I want to make my contribution to the fight by helping other women regain control, regain THEMSELVES, and finally start living the life they have been striving for all their lives. Now that I know -- AND know from EXPERIENCE -- that this indeed is possible, because I have done it, rising from a seemingly hopeless situation myself. (So, this is not just school knowledge -- the effectiveness is confirmed here)
So, this is a combination of me doing life coaching AND a social interaction group of dialog and brainstorming.
I will be sharing general information in a private social medial channel + we will have live zoom meetings weekly (this is where you can ask me questions directly) + I will offer individual testing (free of charge!) + there is a parallel discussion group, so that you can discuss everything in a tight circle of like-minded people.
Ideally, things "for a cause" like this should be free. But the only way for me to reach people is to run ads -- and they are not free, unfortunately. Plus, I have to make a living as well. This is why I am combining this "like minded cause" thing here (i.e. the opportunity to get together, have live visits, discussion, interaction) with the actual, state-of-the art counseling, aimed at actually resolving your issues -- whatever they may be. (The results are not "guaranteed" -- to comply with the prohibitive policies --but "strongly promised".)
I have also created a model, which (hopefully) will solve the common issue of prohibitive prices when it comes to much needed PERSONAL PROFESSIONAL advice: you can test-drive everything for only $5 for the first month.
And, if you feel that you have experienced no benefit from your participation, just contact me here, let me know and I will fully refund your money. Same goes for cancelling at any time -- or, alternately, you can go to your PayPal account (which will be created upon sign-up, if you don't have one), then go to Subscriptions, then simply click "cancel".
PLEASE JOIN ME HERE
(I create small groups, to avoid having 30 people on zoom at once, trying to have a conversation -- we will start small and personal, then unite further. Informational groups launch each Monday -- once your join, you will have step-by-step instructions on how to access everything)