Sometimes you feel you need to talk it out with your partner: explain where you're coming from. Help him understand why you reacted the way you did -- because it's not what he thinks it was... But you don't have the words -- and the right time never seems to come...
Sometimes you want to tell him how his actions have been affecting you. Make him understand. Make him see the light -- because he is clueless, and his cluelessness in ruining everything... But you're afraid he will simply get mad, and this will make things worse instead of better...
I can go on with examples, but I am sure you get the idea here: sometimes you desperately need to talk, but you don't know how to go about it.
This is where a professional with diplomacy can come in handy.
I will be the mediator between the two of you for one business week (5 days)
Instead of the awkward “we need to talk” opener – which immediately brings such tension into the room that your mind instantly freezes, you can now say: “Hey – I found this psychologist online, and we had a brief conversation about a few things that are bothering me. Do you care if she drops you a text and explains a few things for me?”
See how much easier? And you can even use the power of the “I” language (which is a language of peace) instead of the “U” language (which is a language of war): “I was talking to someone, etc.” Peachy.
The way it works:
- We use this app called Telegram for communication here. You will be able to download it upon checkout.
- Once you do, click the button on the checkout page (the link will also be emailed to you, should you accidently close it)
- This will open a channel with my greeting – and a link to the intake form. Fill it out, and let me know the nature of your communication challenge and what you’re trying to accomplish (for example: Need to explain to my husband that he needs to help more with the kids – but I don’t want him to get mad about it. OR: Explain to my boyfriend that these late nights with his buddies are going to have to stop or I am moving out!)
- Give me 2 business days to review your request (I often respond a lot sooner, but just for cush) – then watch your Telegram notifications. I will send you a link to a private chat room between you and me, where we can discuss further details and I will ask follow up questions. Allow 2-3 days for us to hone things in.
- I will then ask for his contact info and will send him a message. You should always tell him that you’re giving it out, and to expect to hear from me. (Alternately, we can add him to the same chat -- your choice, depending on your situation)
- THEN: he responds (hopefully) – if I need to talk him down or clarify something, I will follow up. then, etc. – And I will keep you in the loop on our private chain. And so forth.
- If there is time and need for another question from you, we will go to the round 2.
I WILL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU TO GAUGE THE AMOUNT OF TIME THE CONVERSATION IS GOING TO REQUIRE.
If it’s something simple (like a request for help with the kids), one week should be enough (assuming your husband is a responsible person and all he is going to need is a hint – not someone who is going to push back). However, if you’re threatening to move out unless certain lifestyle changes take place, it may be wise to give time for the back and forth. In either case, do not forget to factor in the set-up time, the initial explanation, etc. (If we run out of time before the problem is resolved, the only remedy at that point would be to repeat it)
So, Please use the subsciption option if you think that the conversation may take longer than one week. You can cancel at any time with a click of a button.