Sometimes you feel you need to talk it out with your partner: explain where you're coming from. Help him understand why you reacted the way you did -- because it's not what he thinks it was... But you don't have the words -- and the right time never seems to come...

Sometimes you want to tell him how his actions have been affecting you. Make him understand. Make him see the light -- because he is clueless, and his cluelessness in ruining everything... But you're afraid he will simply get mad, and this will make things worse instead of better...

I can go on with examples, but I am sure you get the idea here: sometimes you desperately need to talk, but you don't know how to go about it.

The first, default and knee-jerk response is "maybe we should go to counseling". Well, in most cases this is going to go over like a lead balloon: "You need help, I don't" + "Who is going to pay for it" + "I wasn't aware there was a problem"(right! LOL) -- and the list goes on.

And in reality -- YES. In most cases you don't need therapy, because there is nothing wrong with you. You simply need to talk it out -- but you don't know how.

This is where a professional with diplomacy can come in handy.

I will be the mediator between the two of you for one business week (5 days) VIA CHAT. And I will help you get the dialog going without setting off your partner's triggers (as much as this is realistically possible)

Here is how we can minimize the awkwardness of the “we need to talk” opener – which tends to bring such tension into the room that both of your minds instantly freeze.

Here are some of my tried-and-true opening EXAMPLES (things you can say to your partner) that work well to minimize their defensiveness and turn the situation around from looking like you seeing a problem with how your partner is to appearing as someone who is simply working on herself (and the overall well-being of the family) and is simply looking to enlist her husband's help:

“Hey – I was talking to this holistic psychologist online, and she helped me a lot in figuring a few things out that I was struggling with. But she feels that in a relationship two become one -- so she wants you to join. Do you care if I add you to the chat?”

(And yes, you and I will briefly talk first -- and if we haven't figured out at least something in this process, there probably won't be this step anyway)

OR:

"Remember our argument the other day? Well, you know -- I now realize you had a point. In fact, the reason I do is because I decided to talk to someone about how I felt, and so I'm currently in a conversation with a holistic psychologist. But I think you need to be in on this. There are still a few things that I feel we need to have better communication about -- and she can help us do that. Do you care if I add you to the chat?"

(BTW: a person always has a point in a conversation -- even if this point is erroneous or even dysfunctional. There is no shame in acknowledging their point -- and it doesn't mean you're surrendering to it)

OR, FOR REALLY BAD SITUATIONS:

"I think we need to talk a few things out. But I don't want us to get in a fight -- I want to do it in a manner where each one of us feels heard and no one ends up being blamed for the sins they did no commit. This lady can help us do that."

See how much easier this is as opposed to telling him "let's go see someone"? Always use the power of the “I” language (which is a language of peace) instead of the “U” language (which is a language of war): “I was talking to someone, etc.” (Just a tip😁)

THE PROCESS:

Fill in the intake form
Download a secure messaging app
Talk to me privately about what's going on and the goal you want to reach (I may have questions after the intake form and you may want to fill in a few more details)
Start a group chat and bring in your partner
I will start the discussion and lead it for 5 days

The details of how it works:

After purchase ,you will receive a link to the intake form. Fill it out, and let me know the nature of your communication challenge and what you’re trying to accomplish (for example: Need to explain to my husband that he needs to help more with the kids – but I don’t want him to get mad about it. OR: Explain to my boyfriend that these late nights with his buddies are going to have to stop or I am moving out!)

After you submit the form, you will receive the link to download the messaging app AND the link to enter my virtual waiting room.

At that point, I have already received the order, and I will then promptly move you to a private chat room with me (usually the same day, but always within 24 business hours – excluding weekends) The day when you're added to this chat room is when the 5 day count will start.

So, take as much or as little time as you need to fill in the intake -- this will not count towards our conversation time.

If you suspect that the conversation may take longer than 5 days, use the subscription option. You can cancel it any time simply by clicking a button in your member account -- even after the first session. The discount, however, will remain.

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