How to Overcome Bad Luck. Our work of 3+ years
An Interactive e-book:
engaging, easy reading with videos and other fun elements
The 3 of us: myself, Rhona and Paulina created this book after graduating from our certification program in Bioenergetics.
“The world needs to know this”, we said. After almost a year of trial and error, our work together finally saw the light in this specific format…
When Rhona’s husband heard that the book had been published, he ran out and jumped off the bridge. 👽
I’ll circle back to the episode later, but in order for you to understand his reaction and what stood behind it, you of course would need to know a bit about the book and what the project in bioenergetics was about...
AND SO, BIOENERGETICS
Bioenergetics originated in Europe, and is rapidly gaining popularity, but it is new to the United States. Bioenergetics is becoming known as the science of energy healing, however the connection is somewhat vague, and we can also say, erroneous. This branch of natural science is would be better known as the science of solutions, for its focus on answering the “why” questions. As opposed to mainstream approaches that zero in on treating the symptoms, bioenergetics – being a holistic system – aims to solve the cause.
Let’s take anger. The mainstream approach would be, of course, the proverbial anger management. Anger MANAGEMENT is about how to keep the people around you from getting hurt after they set you off. The holistic approach would look at the root of why you’re so easy on the trigger to begin with.
So, Bioenergetics lays claims to finding these fundamental causes.
Tell us what they are, then! – you may say.
Generally speaking, these causes lie in the mind-body connection, the existence of which is widely explored in all holistic approaches as well. But what IS that connection?
This missing link is our energy blueprint. Once you take a good look at our everyday reality, it becomes obvious even to the “naked eye”, so to say. Let’s say you get in a huge fight with your boss at work. You’re going to feel drained of ENERGY… so drained, that you’re likely to have a headache (an affect in the body), will definitely have less motivation and be less productive (an effect in the mind), and possibly even feel depressed later, especially if you’re prone to that (an overall systemic effect, the cause for which has not been yet defined inn the mainstream, just like the cause of cancer).
But where did it all start? By you losing a good chunk of your positive energy to the fight and picking up negative vibes instead. And what are “vibes” anyway? You can “feel the vibes” oftentimes even when no words are exchanged. Vibes are nothing but energy. Bioenergetics applied the results of its studies of the interactions of the energies in our body to trying to decipher our emotions and default reactions… and also became known as the science of success.
QUOTE FROM THE BOOK:
Two brothers grow up in a ghetto: same genetics, same upbringing, same environment.
One becomes an alcoholic, claiming that he owes his fate to growing up in the ghetto: his dad was a heavy drinker, and he internalized this from childhood as the only reality.
The other one becomes a successful judge, having taken advantage of the grants given to people who live in underprivileged areas. He will not touch alcohol – and he claims that he owes his success to growing up in the ghetto: this is how he got his scholarship and was able to get good education, and the reason he doesn't drink is because his dad was an alcoholic and he saw what this does to people and swore that he will not let substance ruin his life
❓❓WHAT MADE THE DIFFERENCE?
That is the question – that both the book and the entire science of Bioenergetics aim to answer.
So, myself, Rhona and Paulina came to the study of Bioenergetics from 3 different walks of life, being led by the need to find our own solutions to what we deemed at the time to be “the questions that had no answer” (Relationships, brain fog, parenting and mom guilt were the top ones on the list, among a few others).
Fast forward, all 3 of us found out solutions. This book, however, is not intended to solve all problems at once -- or even some of them, completely (If someone promises you to do so in just one book, without ever talking to you and knowing the specifics of your individual situation -- RUN!)
Our intent in Demystifying Bad Luck work is to lay the right foundation: help you understand how things work (in our brain, in our social interactions, in what is driving us and the people around us) - and help you map out a winning life's direction. From there, all you will have to do is keep making steps: however small they may be, you will eventually get to your goal, and crazy or impossible it may seem.
Here are a few examples of what unanswered questions (both ours and the people we worked with) tent to look like:
- I am stuck in this relationship where I feel unappreciated, dismissed, put down and invalidated -- but I cannot leave. What do I do?
- I seem to always do the wrong thing when it comes to challenging moments. Am I a failure, or can I fix this?
- I seem to always do the wrong thing when it comes to challenging moments. Am I a failure, or can I fix this?
- I know what I need to do, and it looks like I have all the resources that I need to accomplish the goal. What is holding me back, and how come I cannot get past point go?
- Why is it, that as soon as I get my head above the water, something always happens to set me back?
- Why does it seem that people with less skill, less abilities and worse character get promoted and get ahead, and I always seem to get left behind, despite my best effort and what I have going for me?
- How am I supposed to get along with people around me who seem to do everything to irritate me, and when our natures are downright non-compatible?
- How am I supposed to get ahead when all the circumstances are against me?
I think you will have to agree with me here: putting an end to chaos is 90% of the battle.
If you can arm yourself with the insight of what is going on, the knowledge of how you can fix it, and the tools that enable you to create change in the right direction, you're unstoppable!
If fact, what I've just told you is the formula of success. (It's not work hard -- think deep -- do teamwork, really)
This book is intended to do just that: give you the foundational knowledge in to how things work in general, the insight into what might be going on in your specific situation and some tools to enable you to take it from there. It will shed light on how to answer the "unanswerable questions" that I quote above as well, however.
This book is designed as the first step for those who have tried everything else and got discouraged -- or simply trust their intuition which is telling them that "the formula of success", after they pay someone to help, may likely boil down to work hard -- think deep -- do teamwork (I trust that you know what I mean to say, by the form of an allegory, here)
You see, Bioenergetics takes the concept of success, emotional well-being and emotional healing to a different plateau. You know how you often find yourself swinging between “I’m perfectly fine” to “I need help”, and between “I know the answers” to “My life is in chaos”?
And no answers that you’re able to find seem satisfactory?
This is because the mainstream approach aims to offer you solutions aimed at changing or improving YOU.
Our belief is that YOU’VE BEEN CREATED GOOD ENOUGH. God doesn’t make mistakes / a few billions of survival work weren’t for nothing. (Whichever school of thought you subscribe to doesn't matter: we have the result, and we can argue about what brought it about separately, if we want to)
The bottom line is, there is nothing to improve about YOU. What you need to do is discover the things that stand in your way of being who you are, things that derail your efforts to do the good that you want to do and trick you into doing the very things that you hate. And up to this point, these things have been written off to the devil, back luck, lack or proper upbringing, genetics and other things that we cannot control. Bioenergetics is the first pioneer of science that lays claims to giving you this control.
THE STORY OF RHONA’S HUSBAND
But I must say that the story of Rhona’s husband AJ is the most inspirational out of the whole gang.
As we would put it in our professional language, AJ was a text-book classic injured child case.
So, what’s an injured child?
An injured child can be cruel –because people were cruel to him, and he grew up not knowing it any other way.
An injured child can be vindictive: he grew up with humiliation, unjust punishment and disrespect. He never felt heard, his needs were never important, his opinion didn’t matter, his words were never believed. The world was against him, and he sees fighting against it as the only way to survive
An injured child can be unforgiving: he never experienced being forgiven himself, and was punished even for simple mistakes over and over again
An injured child can be very jealous: he never had enough love growing up, and it always looks that others got it more than him
An injured child can be very self-centered, because nobody ever cared about his needs and he grew up to believe that he is the only one who can and will provide for them.
He is a lonely, unhappy, neglected child in an adult body who has never learned love. But his cries for help are interpreted as aggression, his expression of pain can take on a dangerous twist and his need for attention is so huge people see him as a narcissist. And because these defense walls are so strong, nobody ever sees the child inside… and he won’t let you, for fear of further betrayal and more pain.
AJ was such a child. It took a lot of work, but eventually he started gaining the courage to come out of his shell of malfunctioning defense mechanisms of anger, mistrust and withdrawal. Long story short, AJ’s story is a story of a someone whose personality was bordering on a psychopath -- becoming a loving father, a responsible husband and a successful business owner.
Transformations like this is what our work at Triumph Over Gray is all about. Of course, we do not aspire to solve all the world’s problems in one book. In fact, we went back and forth for months, trying to decide what technique or what approach we would want to present first, and how
Eventually, we came up with this Demystifying Bad Luck – How to Find Life’s Direction book. You can call this book Bioenergetic Science of Success 101: our goal is to lay down a solid foundation for the principles that restored AJ to health and success:
- Finding and reclaiming yourself
- Putting an end to chaos and confusion that seem to follow you everywhere
- Finding life’s direction
- Leaning the “whys” behind negative events in your life and gaining control over the situation
- Creating a roadmap to success starting from the exact unique spot of where you’re at right now
Here are a few highlights on the angles and the answers that we cover:
- Gain a clear idea of what you need to do in order to solve or improve your current situation
- Understand the dynamics behind the specific negative events in your life
- Get a sneak peak into what's holding you back, and how come you haven't been able to get off point go despite your talents and determination
- Understand how come people who are less talented than you seem to have better luck in their life and/or career -- and how to change these dynamics
- Find out who to blame for bad luck -- and why "not blaming anybody" is a bad mistake
- Learn why you tend to feel like you're surrounded by down-right insufferable people all the time
- Learn the 3 steps that will get you out of any negative predicament
- Create a chart of bad luck and demystify its dynamics
- Learn the importance of valuing how you feel
- Gain an understanding of why you oftentimes cannot see the answers for your specific situation clearly enough, and what to do about this
- Learn why you feeling stressed, depressed or out of place could be a result of you suppressing a part of your inborn potential and how to unlock it
- Why we don't always have a choice -- contrary to popular belief, and how to approach these situations
- Get a sneak-peak into how your childhood experiences and hidden childhood trauma are affecting your adult life, reactions and even events
- Discover the 3 "dragons" that are ruining your life
- Discover your inner child and the importance of being yourself
- Learn where you may have been going wrong in judging yourself - and how it is affecting your present success and well-being
- Get a sneak peak into holistic anger management and learn why trying to suppress the rebel in you is a very wrong thing to do, and what you should be doing instead
- Learn the dynamics behind why some people irritate you -- and a simple trick to stop this stress
- Learn the steps you need to take in order to heal your deep emotional wounds and put to use your true potential
...Just to scratch the surface!
Plus, it gives you a good intro into Bioenergetics and the approaches that we use, also demystifying any misconceptions about bioenergetics’ solid foundation as a science, as opposed to other “energy healing” approaches that are oftentimes questionable (in my estimation)
Now it’s time to get back to that bridge story.
So, in the little suburban town where Rhona and AJ grew up and lived, there was this bridge. It spanned a small river and was a renown swimming spot for the local kids. Jumping off that bridge was a sort of initiation from being “a little boy” to becoming a “young man” for several generations…
Until new local authorities felt that jumping off that bridge wasn’t safe enough, and the schools and the local media started to discourage the activity as inappropriate. At that point, there haven't been any accidents involving the bridge, so there were no laws or regulations passed about it, but the society joined the spirit of the public opinion, and jumping off the bridge slowly started to get viewed as something only social outcasts and insubordinate citizens would do. The generational tradition of the bridge as a site of the rite of passage from a boy to a man started to die out.
So, when Rhona’s husband AJ heard that our book (after a lot of back-and-forth figuring how to introduce the transformational power of the method) was finally published, he felt this was literally a rite of passage: a tool that gave hope for healing was finally here.
Regaining personal freedom and your own legacy is one of the foundational principles both in the book and in our approach in general
So, AJ wanted to celebrate the advent of the concept and the book that was brining it out to the open by an act that honored a positive change, a personal break-through of regaining his place in the world -- honored re-claiming the child in him – the child that he always knew himself as. This child had been locked up in a dungeon of someone else’s ideas, preferences and wants for all these years that he struggled with emotional issues because of that.
So, he ran down to the river and jumped off that bridge – as a ritual in support of personal freedom and the right of his heritage to exist. In the book you will learn about the importance of not condemning the rebel in you, but rather nurturing this rebel to grow up to be a Warrior of Light. This is what AJ now knew himself to become -- and he sealed the victory with the ritual that confirmed it's truth.